Here’s a true story I want to tell you. It happened during the tail end of the cold war. On another continent, five world-time zones and 5,305 miles away from my home in the U.S. At the time, the other country was also referred to by its initials — U.S.S.R. Today we call it Russia. That’s where the story took place. At the end of a tour that included meetings between American and Soviet women.
“Step by Step”
The goal of the trip was to create greater understanding between our peoples by discovering the best of what we had in common.
During my time there, I photographed as many ordinary Soviets and families as possible.
On the day of the event in mrmory, I was seated on a bus next to Lena, a winsome 26-year-old translator assigned to our group. We’d spent several days together and she’d heard me give a few speeches in which I was identified as the mother of five school-age children. So on this last day together, as our bus rolled through the streets of Moscow, she repeatedly asked me this one question.
The Question
“Paht (her pronunciation), which of your five children is your favorite?” As an only child, she found my family a subject of intense curiosity. No matter how many times I exclaimed and declaimed that I (“honestly!”) had no favorite child, she remained incredulous. And repeated her plea that I come clean.
If that same conversation with Lena were to be possible these many years later, I’d take the time to explain to her a bit more…
That I could be drawn to a particular trait of an individual child at any given time. But that no child because of a pleasing personality or position in the family lineup should merit preferential treatment.
The Difference
I’d point out the humongous difference between appreciating an individual chid’s characteristics and making that one the favorite, over all others. I’’d hope to help Lena understand what labelling one sibling as essentially more important than another does. That favoritism pits siblings against each other, breeds resentment and opens a gateway to disasters. That when strained or fractured relationships occur, repairing them takes patience and prayer.
I would also woefully acknowledge that currently there are similar parallels of divisiveness and disruption in my own country. In direct opposition to “e pluribus unum,” the Lain phrase that means “out of many, one.” The phrase that has graced our national documents since 1782. That appears on the Great Seal of the United States. And on the seals of the President and and the Vice-President, the U.S. Congress, the House of Representatives, the Senate and the United States Supreme Court. And on all our passports and $1 bills.
End of story — It’s what makes “us” who we are. Whether it be one family with 5 children or one nation of 50 states, we are challenged to find our commonalities, rather than our differences.
E Pluribus Unum. Out of many, one. With patience and prayer.
©️2021 by Patricia Schudy
I am a new subscriber. Love your stories and your writing style.
Pat, I actually remember when you went to Russia and upon your return, we talked about the questions you were asked. And so now, as good writers are wont, you have taken rich material from the past and woven in into the rich fabric that is our present day in this country. It is continually amazing how consistently the past reaches out to us to teach us lessons about the present, Bravo! Good job, my friend.
Unfortunately it would seem that just as ur interpreter didn’t accept ur response to her question, today many are still unaccepting of all people being equal. We can only keep repeating our feelings & hope there will b some who will listen & understand
Yes! Good story.